People Pleaser... it's a curse.

Everything I've ever done in my life, I did because someone else told me to. Now, this follows along with our Cultural Studies work, because we spend a lot of time theorizing about how maybe our decisions are not really OUR decisions; that everything we do has been affected by culture and society and the things and people we are surrounded by. But, actually, honestly, people physically told me to do these things and I did them. That's how I got here.
My life has been a tug of war between my mom and dad. My parents have four kids- three boys, and me. And I'm stuck in the middle, second-to-last.
I like to think that my parents had ideas of who they wanted us to be before we even became. I think that most parents do.
Their first son, Nic, was born deaf. Already, he was breaking the mold that they set for him. He would spend his whole life trying to keep up with his fellow students who could hear what the teacher was saying.
Their next son, Sam, was, quite honestly, a prodigy. A genius.. I've always been very jealous of him. He's the kind of guy who never studies but aces the test. He had tons of friends growing up, and loved trying new things, until he mastered them and got bored. Then he hit the lovely age of eighteen and started smoking, dropped out of college, and works at... Pizza Hut. My parents were displeased.
So then there was me. I was my parents' next chance at having a "successful" kid. My mom wanted a girl. Well, she got one. I think that was the first time I made someone else happy. Because I was the first-and only- girl, and a brand new kid that would hopefully not be a screw-up or disadvantaged, my mom spent all of her time bombarding me with images of who and what I should be. I took ballet, wore nothing but pink, owned every Disney movie, and even participated in beauty pageants. My mom was going to make it impossible for me to stray away from the girl she wanted me to be. My parents placed a lot of emphasis on doing well in school, so I did just that. When I stopped wetting the bed before my brothers, I was praised. When I moved onto reading chapter books when the rest of my class was still on "See Spot Run", they bought me a Barbie. When I got an A on a story I wrote for school, I my mom painted my nails. My whole life would be like this- do something my parents want, get a reward. I didn't even become interested in writing poetry (something that has been my passion for a very long time now) until my dad asked me to write him a poem for his birthday one year.
Meanwhile, my dad wanted an athletic kid. Nic was never really interested in sports, and Sam gave up on everything after a month. Dad wanted me to be his soccer star. I played soccer for ten years, until I started high school. Quitting soccer started with my mom saying, "I wish you would try out for cheerleading."
So I did. And when I made the JV team instead of the 9th Grade team freshman year, good old Mom took me shopping. I quit soccer to focus on cheerleading for the rest of my high school career.
Academics, cheerleading, and writing are the three most important things in my life. I enjoy them, and I love excelling at them. I'm not saying that my parents forced me into anything at all. I'm grateful for their... ahem... loving "nudge" into trying things. All I am saying is that who I am is one hundred percent shaped by my parents' perceptions of me and my perception of their perception. I wanted to make them happy.