Random Post about Autism

http://www.carynsullivanscribe.com/?p=1474

Our society has been changed by the onslaught of diagnoses of Autism. Most of us know someone who has it. I used to do therapy with Erik (now 20 years old) when he was 6. His amazing parents worked their butts off to make sure he was getting every opportunity he could to improve his life. Now his mother has begun a place for Autistic adults to live and work and be very productive and happy. This is so not a nursing home or assisted living facility. Here is a link to a story published in the Pioneer Press. Please pass it on if you know any families touched by Autism.
Thanks.
Bethany

Also: Eriksranch.org

In control or out of control... whichever works.

To say that I had everything predetermined for me when I was a child would be wrong, but to say that I didn’t try to fulfill every expectation from my parents or others would also be wrong. I grew up as the middle child, with an older brother and a younger sister. I took my role as the middle child and had a shy personality, usually quiet, even introverted. I was a crazy little kid along with my brother and sister, which I’m sure my parents loved at times, but once I was on my own or in a new environment I went into automatic quiet kid mode.

This seemed to take overtake my personality and I was always known as shy, if I was even noticed. Because of this, I wasn’t the most social so I focused on school and other activities. My parents stressed good grades, so I got them. They wanted me to play sports, so I tried them all. I started with t-ball and gymnastics, went through basketball, volleyball, track, but I didn’t love the sports I played until I started swimming and playing water polo. Joining these sports not only introduced me to some of my best friends but it also made me step out of my comfort zone and allowed my to be more outgoing. I am thankful for that because my personality has grown and I can be comfortable just being me.

So high school for me, as I’m sure you could guess, was grades and sports, but I loved it. I was the good kid in my family, I had to try and stand out since I was only the middle child. So I did all of my homework every night and I went to school every day, no matter what, and I made every practice, even the extra ones, and I cleaned the house, did the dishes, the laundry, the grocery shopping, anything you could think of, I had it done and better than you expected. But that was because I thought I had to do it all.

Considering everything I’ve been through, optimistic doesn’t begin to describe how I look at my life. I lost my mom in a car accident the summer before my freshman year in high school. I loved her and admired her in every way, I even look and act like her and my family reminds me of that every day. So taking on her responsibilities seemed natural, but it was also for the rest of my family. That was only the first bump in the road for me, definitely the worst, but I still consider myself lucky for everything I have. I know its cliché, but I wouldn’t be the person I am today without everything in my past.

This picture also has a lot to do with me. It was originally just the picture, but for my senior night during water polo season my coach edited it and hung it up for everyone to see. I love it because it just makes me laugh, but it reminds me of my team and everything I put into it. Before this, it was in my eighth grade year book with a caption from my family. The school did this every year for all the eighth graders and had families send in a baby picture with a “good luck, I love you” message for graduation. And even before that, it was sitting in a photo box in our living room with all the other pictures of me, my brother, and my sister being our goofy, normal selves. Basically, me in a nutshell. Gotta love the nineties, such great clothes.

I Feel the Need For...COD

(http://www.blahblahtech.com/wp-content/images/entertainment/kids-playing-a-video-game.jpg)

I'm from a small town in Minnesota, and I lived in the country. I was the "country kid" on the school bus who had to get up a hour earlier than the "town kids" did to get to school. Growing up as the "country kid", I spent alot more time outdoors than the kids that lived in town. I didn't have the sega, N-64 or the playstation, but i did have an old three wheeler and my dads old .22 to play with. I remember going to school and not knowing really what the other kids were talking about when they raved about the new donkey kong or need for speed game. I was never really apart of the latest craze, when Halo came out or a new type of game boy hit the stores, I didn't know about till a month after everyone else and didn't really care. I was too busy to care, I was too busy helping my Grandpa on the farm or going fishing with my best friend Mike from school. I was too busy going off jumps with my three wheeler or lifting weights in my basement getting ready for the upcoming football season to start.

The reason why I didn't have the latest playstation or dance dance revolution wasn't because my family couldn't afford it, my parents didn't like the idea of owning them and I just didn't have that much of an interest for them. Instead, I wanted and got a dirt bike after I totaled my three wheeler or mud tires for the truck I drove. I did end up buying a X-box in high school, but the time I spent playing it didn't match up to its price tag. I just wasn't hooked into the gaming industry like most boys my age were. In college its almost seems like its required for every male college student to own an X-box 360 and flat screen TV to show off the amazing graphics of Gears of WAR or the detailed faces of their favorite NFL players on Madden 11. I on the other hand, don't feel the need for these items. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy playing these games, but an hour a week, if that, satisfies my desire for digital entertainment. In a generation marked by its technology use, I feel like a minority. I'm not proud or unhappy for saying that I don't feel the urge to play Call of Duty for hours on end or host a Madden tournament with my buddies, people who do this don't bother me at all. I just think its interesting how I am not part of the gaming world which is a big part of many people's lives. I like to attribute this to my family and how I grew up. Some people grew up playing video games and love to this day playing video games. I grew up going camping and I love going camping and I go camping whenever I get the chance.

F.I.R.S.T. Lego League Robotics

Other than attending a charter school for part of 1st grade, I've been homeschooled my entire life up until entering the University of Minnesota. However, that's not to say I did everything at home. My sister and I (also homeschooled) attended co-ops to work with other students, took “field trips” with our parents, and we did have friends! I'm not completely sure why my parents decided to educate us this way, but from what they've told me it boiled down to what they thought would be a better education. A lot of my “schooling” came from experience doing things during the week when most kids were in school.

The single program that changed my life more than any other was F.I.R.S.T Lego League. I had always been interested in building things, which my parents noticed. They heard about a robotics competition with everything constructed using LEGOs. My dad, as a woodworker who liked building stuff just as I did, knew almost nothing about the programming and electronic components of the Lego League. However he decided to coach a Lego League Robotics team in our basement. After I invited several friends and talked my sister into it too, we had a team of six.

Our coach (my dad) initially registered our team as the Legomorons, sure that we would change it (we didn't). We began constructing our robot to compete in the upcoming tournament which was two months away. Progress felt slow at first, but we learned fast. Within a few weeks I was teaching the other members of my team how the robot's programming language worked. By tournament day, we had a working robot that could complete about 80% of the possible missions. The team had chosen me to operate the robot during the competition, so I felt quite stressed before the first robot performance round. The robot had problems during the round and ended up with a low score by our standards. It turned out that score led the tournament and we advanced to the State Tournament.

I continued to participate in F.I.R.S.T Lego League for three more years and went on to win 3d place at the International Tournament in Georgia. The planning, programming, fund raising, collaboration, and teamwork skills that I learned in Lego League will stay with me forever and are the main reason I'm studing Computer Engineering here at the U.

Sometimes I wish my parents would have pushed me harder, but then I realize that I've become what I have because of what I've done, not what they wanted me to be. So far my homeschool education's worked out for me!

I’m a Country/City Girl

I’ve always heard people describing themselves as either country folk or city folk. I have thought about this and decided I don’t really belong in either, but right in the middle.

Both of my parents grew up in small towns in Wisconsin, and almost all of my family, specifically my dad’s side, still lives in the same town. My parents were the strange ones who moved away to Minnesota to a city where not everyone knows everyone else. Growing up in away from my extended family made me value them more and every time I saw them was very special. When I think of my family, the same images come to mind: the drive there looking out the window at the cornfields and beautiful landscape while listening to my dad’s classic rock CD’s, hugging my grandparents as I walk in the kitchen and smell something home cooked, and playing with my cousins in the huge yard and apple orchard.

As much as I love that part of my family, growing up in a city much larger than 4,000 people, it is harder for me to relate to them. I have always had this love for big cities and foreign places. Maybe it’s just me being young and wanting to have all these new experiences but I cannot picture myself living in a nice, quiet small town when I am older.

As far as knowing who I am and what I like, I would say I am a combination between these two opposites. My family and my past have been more influenced by the “country” lifestyle, but I believe my present and my future are destined for a “city” lifestyle.

To be "normal" was everything.

I attended Faribault High School, in Faribault Minnesota from 2005 until 2009. in 2006, my sophomore year, I was an active participant in Theater, Choir, Swimming, and Cross Country. In the fall and all of winter of my sophomore year, my body would not stop having multiple seizures a day.

I grew up in a family from Iowa; dad works for Land O' Lakes, mom worked at a Bus Company downtown Faribault, both my older brother and older sister were star athletes. My family practiced Christianity with the Evangelical Lutheran Church. We went to football games, hockey games, fast-pitch tournaments, and wrestling matches. We could never be seen out in public wearing something that would draw any type of public attention. Our hair always had to be neat, our socks always matched, our lives were irrevocably clean. In my family, the most important thing that we collectively needed to believe was that we were normal.

As a young and free-spirited, wild theatre kid, the idea of normalcy haunted me. I was the one kid in the family getting in trouble for not showering or having messy hair. My socks only matched because of the fuss that would be ignited every time I left the house looking as though I didn't care. My parents pushed, and pushed, and pushed me to believe in a universal normalcy. I became a faithful son of the family who had to be normal.

Living in Faribault Minnesota meant, for my family, that certain things could not even be discussed at a dinner table in fear of leaking private matters to neighbors. This stopped me from talking. I held in every ounce of feeling that I could bare to keep on my shoulders. I was medicated not to feel emotions as strongly as I did.

Sophomore year, I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder (GAD), as well as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). My constant drive for normalcy slowly became a hidden need for perfection. On a Fall afternoon, I was running for Cross Country practice. I was taken to the hospital after my run because I had a seizure for the first time. After countless hospital stays, doctor visits, therapy sessions, and more "Non-Epileptic Events", we found out my body was dealing with it's anxiety in the only way it knew how.

I always felt weird (and still do) about being the kid at school that gets taken away by ambulance, not because I had broken my leg or had been stabbed, but because being perfect and normal were the most important things to me. I didn't see money. Class was not an issue I thought about. But I was trained to look, and want to look, like everyone else. I was trained how loudly to speak. I was trained what types of things are meant to be said or kept secret. I was trained to identify what would make me 'stick out'.

Now, I am always driving for "perfection," and I hope I always am; however, I now critique and analyze everything I am told. My past gives evidence to why I should think critically about everything. I have literally experienced my bodies control completely out of my hands, and now claim all rights to deciding what and why I train myself to do anything.

Being yourself

What defines me? Well, in high school, I always let myself be defined by the activities I was in. I come from a graduating class of 32. No not 3200. 32. I am from a town of about 1100. Growing up in such a small town/school allowed me, if you want to use that word, to be involved in everything. If you were out for one sport you were most likely out for all of them because in a school of this size, you were lucky enough to have the minimum number of players in the first place. It wasn't just sports either, if you were in band, you were most likely in choir, and jazz band, and madrigal, and swing choir, not to mention the dance team. I was a very busy girl.

I grew up with three other sisters and one brother. I am right in the middle. I did not have my own bedroom until my freshman year. Growing up with older and younger siblings  definitely took its toll on me. I learned from my older siblings mistakes and gained the full trust of both parents. I also gained responsibility when watching over my younger siblings too. I feel blessed to be the middle child because I was not rushed to grow up like my youngest sister was, nor was I forced to pretend Santa was real until I was a sophomore in college like my eldest sister. I was given the time I needed and for that I am grateful.

My mother and father are avid catholics. Like Robin has brought up lately, my life was defined by the ten rules that Moses carried down in stone. I took on my parents beliefs and lived them like my own. I said prayers, I went to camps, retreats, conferences, you name it! I was the child my parents always hoped for. I was a people pleaser. Everything I did was for the sake of others and what I thought were their wishes. I got involved in so many school activities and sports because that is what looks good in your records. I worked my butt off in school anything that wasn't an A (A- is not an A) wasn't good enough for my parents, so it wasn't good enough for me. I kept organized and presentable at all times because if I could not/did not please others, I was not pleased with myself. This left me very unstable when times got rough and something unexpected hit, I never allowed myself to feel what I was feeling, I never allowed myself to actually speak my own mind. I was a mold of everyone around me.

Two years ago that all started to change, when I finally opened my eyes into a world outside my little town in Northwest Iowa. I realized life is much bigger, full of adventures and life styles, and opportunities I never even knew of. I also realized how scary it could be at the same time, and how fragile our existence is. I realized we shape who we want to be. We have control over what happens in our life. Fate is not chance but choice flowered with possibilities of all kinds because of moves you made within your own life. However, it is not an open field of choices like so many imagine it to be. It is like a maze with moving walls and signs that might impact your decisions. Culture, family, friends, school, hopes, dreams, fears, all shape who we are and the choices we make, but it is our decision what the shape actually is, are you an otter, butterfly, beetle, tree, light, wind, rain?

In these last two years I have stepped out of this constant people pleaser and allowed myself to look into my greatest dreams. I was able to attend this school, and travel to Germany three times, four come winter break. I am now openminded and interested in not only how my past became that way but how i can use it to help with my future.

Economic Status

I grew up in a relatively well off suburb, with a decent house and pretty nice things, all things considered. My family has never really been poor that I can think of, but we've definitely been lower-middle class because of different circumstances that have occurred through my life. I've never felt like I missed out on things, but I have always been a little jealous of a lot of my friends. I have several different friends that could just simply tell their parents they were going out for the evening and their parents would suddenly produce $20 for them to use to pay for whatever happens in the night. These same people have gotten to go to college with a lot less stress on their shoulders because their parents are happily footing the bill for them.

Since I was 15, I have held either one or two jobs that all contributed to either being able to go out and enjoy myself, or to pay for school to try and get a better career in the long run. I don't resent anyone for my situation, since the working experience has given me a much more mature outlook on my finances, and has taught me a good distinction between work and play. Has it upset me because all my friends can go out and have fun when I have to go to work? Yes. But, now I have a job that comfortably sits in the normal workweek, and pays quite well. I don't think that I would be working the job I am now without the experience under me and the confidence I've gained in myself by being able to provide for me. I now have a much easier position than a lot of my friends because of the difficulty of previous years.

Not only has getting better jobs been easier for me because of my previous experience, the idea of working to acquire the money I have also taught me to be more appreciative of what I do have, more independent, and it has certainly influenced my studies. Whenever I've been able to go out with friends for the past several years I've had to come up with the capital to invest in that fun for myself, which has made me have a direct correlation of money to work to fun. Along with that when I was looking for what to major in a lot of the consideration I made was how employable will I be when I finish school, while how interested I was in the coursework came as a secondary consideration. I love what I'm studying, but it certainly wouldn't have been my first choice if I was only looking for furthering my education in the coolest, most fun major possible.

Go Pack Go!

I use this picture to display a grand narrative in my life not because I’m a dedicated Packer’s fan- that would be a lie. No, the reason that preschool-aged Bethany has her face painted green and yellow (it’s hard to see in the picture) and gets to eat a delicious and beautifully frosted cake is because it was the Super Bowl and I grew up as the only daughter in my family. My mom was not much of a “girly-girl” either, so my family went to Twins games, spent summer vacation tenting out at national parks, and had football parties for teams we were not even remotely invested in. Had I grown up in a family with three sisters, I believe that I would have been completely different from who I am today.

I always say that I function emotionally more as a guy would than most of my friends. I tend to be more upfront than most girls I know. I would take a Will Ferrel movie over The Notebook any day of the week. Yes, I still straighten my hair and love shoes, but I can only rant about the horrible thing someone’s boyfriend did for so long with my friends before I go insane. I would much rather brush off a mistake a friend made than dwell on it for weeks to come and am often confused by how long grudges are held for- what seem to me, at least- the strangest things. In this way, I am sometimes told that I react as if a male would.

This summer I decided to go camping with a couple of my friends before we left for our separate college experiences. When I say camping, I would like to point out that we drove about 45 minutes to a state park with the fire ring and flat tent spot already intact. Also, there were bathrooms within fifty yards of us with running water and showers. This was by nobody’s definition “roughing it.” Watching my friends struggle to accept that there would be dirt on their pillows and bugs in the tent was funnier than any reality show I could have watched had I stayed home. Now I am not saying that I would eat a bug like Bear Grylls or anything, but I also don’t run and scream when there’s a spider on the wall.

My value, interests, and habits have all been shaped by the structure of my family.

One big happy family...or something like that

My family has always played a central role in my upbringing and my life. My sister has always been my best friend, and I respect my parents a lot. I definitely know the way my parents have raised me has to do with the decisions and choices I make day to day.

My parents have always stressed that we make our own decisions, and that we do it for the right reasons. Rarely do they give their opinion on what they think I should do, and that sometimes makes it kind of tough to think out a major decision! But I am so thankful my parents have used that parenting style. When I went out for sports in high school, there would always be a handful of kids saying their parents made them try out. I’m not saying this is a bad thing. It definitely has its benefits—there are many times when I would miss out on something because I never had that push from my parents.

As I have grown older, I really respect everything my parents have done for me and see where they are coming from. I appreciate the way they have raised me because they never made me feel as though they held certain expectations that I could not live up to—either because I couldn’t achieve that certain thing or because it was not what I wanted. They have always stressed that they are happy with our decisions no matter what, and I definitely know we all share a better relationship because of that. I am so glad they never pushed me to do something I didn’t want to do. I realize it was really refreshing as I have been talking to coworkers of mine that are seniors in high school now and applying for college how much they feel a certain push towards a school or area because of what their parents want for them.

To sum it up, all of these examples show how important my family is to me, not only my immediate family but also my extended family. My grandparents and certain aunts and uncles mean a lot to me. I know if I had a different upbringing I would be a complete different person today. My family is the most important thing in my life. I appreciate my family’s personal struggles financially and sacrifices to get the best things for me.

I feel like so many lessons can be related to all of the topics I mentioned above, and I feel as though any struggle I encountered in my upbringing has only made my family closer and myself as a person stronger. The grand narrative of these long stories is that we all have something that makes us who we are, and I personally have a very strong family influence in that matter. I know not all families are close in the sense of divorce and general busyness and priorities, but mine has shaped who I am today. When reading Maus, the author often felt caring for his father a burden, and this is definitely a common and natural feeling. Especially at a young age, most kids don’t have the time or want to be with their parents like most parents want but to me it is a priority. Spiegelman's father also tried to dissuade him from habits such as smoking, spending, and time, which as an adult, Spiegelman disagreed with.

I would consider myself to be a fairly organized and disciplined person. I am constantly writing to-do-lists in my planner and planning out my week in advance. I usually go to bed the same time every night and make time for a morning work out to get my day started. I think this is largely because of my high school career on the dance team. I tried out as an eighth grader and made JV for my ninth grade year, and Varsity every year after that until I graduated. We had practice six days a week 9 months out of the year with competitions almost every weekend. Our practices were meticulously planned out in order to make us as successful as possible. We would warm up, stretch, do the 4 minute dance, "clean" it (break up every movement so all 35 dancers looked alike), and then mix in 4 minute stamina sessions to prepare for a competition. There was a certain order to everything that was done. Now when I reflect on myself, I realize that if something is out of order or if my room is messy, I become a little anxious. If I forget to do a reading for class or an online homework assignment, I become very stressed. I think having a little bit of stress in my life is good and keeps me on top of my studies, but sometimes it becomes a little overwhelming. I have to remind myself sometimes that there is more to life than a perfect score on a test or an A paper. I need some "me" time to relax and take a breath, but not too much otherwise things get out of order.

How Family/Culture Influenced Me...

As we learned in class, our opinions and who we are today are shaped by where we come from...outside forces, such as family, have influenced and shaped us to become who we are today. My family and culture have definitely contributed to who I am today.

I come from a close knitted Vietnamese family and culture has always been an important part of my life. Even though I was born in the U.S., my first language was actually Vietnamese. My parents spoke Vietnamese to me as a child and as a result, I had to take ESL to learn English. Whenever I speak Vietnamese, I would get surprised looks because people learn that I was born here and not in Vietnam and because of my fluency. I would have to say that being bilingual and able to speak my language with fluency has been something that has set me apart from other Vietnamese American teens. My parents have always been sure to keep me connected with my culture since I was a child. I would sit and watch traditional Vietnamese operas and musical productions with my parents and grandma. As a result, I still enjoy them today and listen to Vietnamese folk music. I would also get surprised looks from this as well and have been called "old school" by some of my cousins. Growing up in a Vietnamese family in America, I learned to balance my Vietnamese culture along with American culture.

Growing up, I was a tomboy. My mother would bring me shopping and I would automatically go over the boys' section. My mother quickly learned that she could not force me to wear girly things and let me be a tomboy. At this age, I enjoyed sports and being athletic and active. My family would often watch Bruce Lee (the father of martial arts) movies and I began to take a great interest in martial arts. I wanted to be just like him. My parents saw my interest and brought me to a Taekwondo class for a trial lesson and from then on, Taekwondo has been a great part of my life. I cannot imagine my life without Taekwondo. I have been doing Taekwondo for about nine years and it is my passion. Eventually, I grew out of the tomboy stage but I still maintain my athletic side.

My parents were both boat people and left Vietnam after the Vietnam War to start a new life. They encountered great hardships and did not have opportunities that I have today. My parents want me to succeed in my academics and to take opportunities that they did not have. As a result, academics have always been an important part of my life and I work hard to make my parents proud. Maintaining a balance between family, academics and athletics is who I am and much of it is contributed by my family.

I think the five years I spent as an Air Traffic Controller in the Navy changed me the most. I am definitely on the introvert AB personality side of things. However, I was far more reserved when I was as a teenager. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love talking to others, but once a certain amount of interacting takes place I get burnt out and have to withdraw a little bit to recharge my batteries.

I think these are good traits, but they are also pretty bad in the job that I entered in the Navy. I aired on the side of anxiety when I first started controlling. The introvert side of myself always was assuming that pilots knew everything I did, but that was no where remotely close to reality. In this demanding field you must key up-turn on your transmitter and talk to an aircraft- for nearly anything.

My first controlling experience was doing Ground Control, which is the position responsible for coordinating all movement on an airfield past the ramps(vehicles, men, equipment, and, of course, aircraft). You coordinate what taxiways(roads) an aircraft must take to ensure that one aircraft on their way to the runway to takeoff doesn't interfere with someone coming back from a mission trying to park on the ramp. Anyway, I had a knack of never talking unless it was immediate so and so wants to cross a certain runway. If two aircraft on the ground were pointed right at each other I figured aircraft x will give way to aircraft y. Needless to say, my first critique of my performance was pretty horrendous. I then had it beaten into me you need to take control of the airfield and that every pilot was an idiot. I became more confident with more time on position and eventually built up greater and greater confidence in my abilities.

This confidence has led me to tackle many things I normally wouldn't have dreamed of doing when I first enlisted. College, athletics, and even as a Sailor that I started to really apply myself. I accepted a tour to Iraq doing detainee operations and worked with the Army for a year. If you don't have an air of confidence to the way you carry yourself it will targeted and the detainees will target you because they perceive you as weak.

I also feel like I wouldn't be a very competitive person, but being more confident has led me to try many different things. I have done triathlons, cycling, rock climbing, scuba diving, just to name a few. I wouldn't have dreamed of doing these things when I was in High School even though I participated in football, I wouldn't ever consider myself the athletic.

Even more importantly, I was never really a stellar student when I was in high school. I didn't even bother to take the ACT or the SAT because my perception of school was that you had to be top 10% of your class in order to even make the cut for acceptance. Tying back into my job, we always had to study for a new position or learning whatever revisions came out in the world of Air Traffic Control. I developed much better study habits while going through air traffic control school. My test scores ended up reflecting this, and I became confident that I could get out and go back to school to get up to speed with everyone else in my age group, nearly everyone I knew in school now holds a degree. I never would have dreamed that I would ever be in the top ten percent of anything related to academics when I graduated in 2005, yet this summer I got a letter saying I was in the top 10% of my community college(Normandale), I know what you are thinking... it's community college...., but nonetheless I thought it was pretty cool considering I never made honor roll in high school and now I am getting letters that I made the Deans list every semester.

I know this is going to sound corny, but without the Navy, and more importantly everyone else that I controlled with, I wouldn't be at this University right now writing this. I would probably be working in a blue collar job, without ever aspiring to go back to school. I think a Grand Narrative is signing up for the Navy and this set the tone for becoming, a far more interesting person than what I thought I was 6 years ago. Ok, now I feel old, but I digress.

How Menudo Influenced Me...

The boy on the far right (Ricky Melendez), was my first love. I grew up in Big Lake and Becker where diversity(regarding other languages, cultures and skin color),was pretty non-existent. Everyone was white. Somehow my friend Angie and I stumbled upon an all boy band from Puerto Rico named Menudo. This is the boy band that Ricky Martin was in when he was younger. Ricky Melendez was, for some reason, my favorite member. We would go nuts over any television or radio appearance they made and would buy every issue of "Bop and Teen" magazines in order to clip photos of them for our Menudo scrap books. One time we even put make-up on and dressed up. We took photos of ourselves and wrote them letters. We were sure that they would see the pictures, read our letters and come to Minnesota to scoop us up and be our boyfriends. Awwweeeee to be young and clueless again. Looking at this band now, they were extremely geeky by today's standards, but they were as macho as could be at my age in the early 80's. The band still exisst and are much more modern looking. I'll take the vintage Menudo any day though because they bring back many fond memories. The reason I am mentioning this band is because I credit them for sparking my interest in and respect for other languages and cultures. I started taking Spanish because of them (after all, I would need it when Ricky asked me to marry him-lol). When I was a senior in high school I dated the exchange student from Nogales, Mexico because he reminded me of Ricky. As a freshman at St. Cloud State University, the first group I joined was the International Student's Association. I met people from Pakistan, India, Palestine, Japan, China, South American, you name it. I learned so much from them and I loved it. To me, my culture, or lack thereof as Dyer would put it, was so blaze'. When I met my husband (he trained me in at QVC), it was mutual love at first sight. That was in 1988. We were married in 1991 and have been very happy together ever since. We now have three children together. He is from south Yemen and grew up in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. I really do believe that Menudo has a lot to do with the fact that when I saw my husband, there was an immediate interest. That attraction to different cultures has been within me ever since and I still think that culture in our white society is boring. That is just my opinion though, so no offense to my white brothers and sisters. LOL. Is there a grand narrative here? For me, I guess so. Luckily, thus far, it has a "happy ending." By the way Ricky Melendez is married with children now and living in Puerto Rico practicing real estate law.I think if I met him today I would still turn to jelly. LOL. Adios!

Culturally Defined?

I am not nearly as culturally diverse as many kids are on the U of M campus, but when I was 11 years old, my family moved the the Sierra Madres mountains of Mexico to do aid work with the Tarahumaran Indians. I stayed there for two years, and, since I knew no spanish before we moved, I was home-schooled for two years.

Those two years probably defined more of me than any other time period of my preteen life. You don't move to an unknown culture with an unknown language where you are the only white kid in the city (and, the only kids who speak your language are your 4 sisters) without being strongly affected one way or another.

Coming back from Mexico as a 13-year-old, the American culture seemed much different than I remembered it. Way faster paced, way less family-centered, a much higher standard of living (unnecessarily, I thought at the time), and certainly more materialistic. What took me a while to realize, however, was that the American culture hadn't changed - I had. The Mexicans in the city of Creel (the city where our family lived) vastly differed the American culture on all of those points. I disliked American culture very much immediately upon returning to the U.S. I wasn't prepared for it at all. Over time, I learned to exist in the American culture, but some of those differences have stuck with me. I hardly ever play video games or watch TV. I rarely buy brand new clothes (not that I can't afford it, but I just don't think the clothes are worth it), and I know next to nothing about current pop culture. Again, I just don't see those things as worthwhile at all anymore. With respect to those areas of life, I have found myself drifting back to the Creel culture, where TV, video games, new clothing, and pop culture just were not considered valuable or even entertaining. Those two years gave me a completely different view of American culture that I probably would never have seen otherwise. 

Move Over Garrison Keillor

My mother's family is composed of my grandfather, grandmother, and their 13 children, the fourth eldest of which is my mother. My grandparents were a young couple when they started tallying their kids as my mother is turning 44 in 2012. They were also and remain to this day, devout Missouri Synod Lutherans. In coloquial terms this is the 'strictest' of three Synods in the Lutheran religion. My grandfather was also a stoic naval officer, as well a mechanical design engineer. Of the 13 children, 4 male and 8 female, each of the 8 females went into the navy or army as engineers or nurses and 6 became engineers of varying degrees later in life. My grandparents are beyond excited to have their 60th grandchild in the future, as they already have 59. There is a running joke in our family about the women being able to make a pasta salad to feed a small country while fixing a car with one hand and reading the bible with the other. The pattern in this last paragraph I didn't work hard to convey is babies, work, and the Bible.

My parents were divorced when I was two, my mother moved out to Detroit to work as an automotive engineer and I stayed in Minnesota with my father. Therefore visiting my mother's family in LaCrosse, Wisconsin was like a trip to another world every time I went. How did these people know which ones were their kids when there were 45 blonde heads weaving in and out of Immanuel Lutheran's church basement (I think my grandparents' family fills half the church)? I was a single child in Minnesota with a very clean room and a very organized schedule, even at 6 years old. When I was introduced to farms, mud baths, garage forts, dumpster diving, and 30 on 30 soccer games I found a world I was in love with. The part I dreaded was the Bible reading. Always the Bible. Wake up at 6 a.m. and listen to Grandpa read the Old Testament. 6:05 a.m: don't let Grandpa catch you sleeping in your oatmeal bowl. 6:35 a.m: we are allowed to eat the oatmeal after Psalms. 6:36 a.m.: Grandpa smacks you on the head for not finishing your oatmeal, "We don't waste, we just read this in The Book!" he yells.

I was a foreigner to the world of strict Bible reading, I have no plans to join the navy, I do not associate with the Lutheran religion other than my baptism, and I never want 13 kids, but that world is an intrinsic part of me. I can respect and know the brief history of a host of religions as my family is big enough to have dabbled in many, though as a result I will never affiliate with one. I understand the Protestant jokes on Prairie Home Companion because my family is from Lake Wobegon. I do not waste food. I feel guilty if I am not being productive and still have to remind myself I am not immune to illness. I also recently learned to relax in a different way. I used to clean, or repair/build things when I needed to unwind, but after 5 months in Peru I enjoy sitting. Often with a glass of wine or cup of tea, looking outside, being outside, but really just sitting. So as my family's Protestant history of work-is-life-life-is-hard, slight sexism, Bible adhering, pasta salda-making has had a profound effect on me, I sleep better knowing it is possible to veer from your family's own Grand Narrative and recognize where some of your strongest characteristics come from. I never thought it was possible to change, I thought it was just "how I was was", but once that facade was broken a world of possibilities opened up, and Cultural Studies is a perfect companion.

Cactus in desert vs. Cactus in Forest---a balancing act of sorts

I would consider myself to be a fairly unique individual, having led quite an interesting life. For starters, I was born in Ireland, but am from India, and currently reside in Duluth, Minnesota. The variety of environments I have been exposed to and different cultures I have imbibed and assimilated have contributed to a unique social perspective. I currently am a citizen of three countries—American due to immigration, Indian due to my parents, and Irish due to my birth—unfortunately I will not be able to boast of that fact for too much longer since I have been informed that I will have to choose 1 soon.
I only lived in lreland for the first two years of life, of which I have no intelligible recollection other than hazy visuals of running through a house with many windows. Nonetheless, the fact that I was born in Ireland has been the one random thing that everyone remembers about me, regardless of the duration of our acquaintance. It has also been the content of my “most interesting fact” in every one of the icebreaker or introduction sessions at school or any other event since for as long as I can remember. But the fact that I am of Indian origin and was brought up in America has introduced quite a few aberrations in my life that have again contributed to my interesting life.

My parents were born and brought up in India. They connect with and embody Indian culture—which is conservative, very family oriented, and where socioeconomic status matters above all else. Since this culture has become a part of who they are, obviously when it comes to bringing up their children, they try and convey that to them and expect them to take it as part of themselves as easily and effortlessly as the parents did. It all seems fine and dandy except when one considers the fact that the children are brought up in a totally different environment, one that comes with its own set of cultural norms. It’s like expecting a cactus to grow in a forest the same way it does in a desert? So a huge part of what contributes to me as an individual is my constant balancing act. The balancing of two different cultures—I say balancing because it seems that both cannot mix and blend into each other, perhaps over generations but as of now, if I mix and blend, it turns out to be a some sort of anomaly leading to some sort of negative conflict on either side.

Western culture is extremely open in terms of clothing, communications, relationships, choosing professions whereas Indian culture is very closed in terms of all of the above. Indians want everything planned out and fit into a rigid structure that allows little room for spontaneity and innovation. All Indian parents aspire to bring their children up to be doctors or engineers in top notch companies, marry them off in their mid twenties with people of the same Indian subculture (there are tons) as them, and have grandkids soon after. All communications between parents and kids are very respectful in terms of decisions, and kids are expected to be very obedient, usually the parent’s word is final. No talking back or arguing. For females, I think the balancing act is harder as we are imposed to more “protecting” decisions than males. So to fit into normal Western society without seeming like the odd one out or a misfit as well as abiding to my parent’s ideals of a perfect Indian daughter has been the foundation of my life—the balancing act is challenging at times, fun others( it’s almost like you are two different people), and very interesting at times, always making for great stories to share with the respective cultural counterparts.

People Pleaser... it's a curse.

Everything I've ever done in my life, I did because someone else told me to. Now, this follows along with our Cultural Studies work, because we spend a lot of time theorizing about how maybe our decisions are not really OUR decisions; that everything we do has been affected by culture and society and the things and people we are surrounded by. But, actually, honestly, people physically told me to do these things and I did them. That's how I got here.
My life has been a tug of war between my mom and dad. My parents have four kids- three boys, and me. And I'm stuck in the middle, second-to-last.
I like to think that my parents had ideas of who they wanted us to be before we even became. I think that most parents do.
Their first son, Nic, was born deaf. Already, he was breaking the mold that they set for him. He would spend his whole life trying to keep up with his fellow students who could hear what the teacher was saying.
Their next son, Sam, was, quite honestly, a prodigy. A genius.. I've always been very jealous of him. He's the kind of guy who never studies but aces the test. He had tons of friends growing up, and loved trying new things, until he mastered them and got bored. Then he hit the lovely age of eighteen and started smoking, dropped out of college, and works at... Pizza Hut. My parents were displeased.
So then there was me. I was my parents' next chance at having a "successful" kid. My mom wanted a girl. Well, she got one. I think that was the first time I made someone else happy. Because I was the first-and only- girl, and a brand new kid that would hopefully not be a screw-up or disadvantaged, my mom spent all of her time bombarding me with images of who and what I should be. I took ballet, wore nothing but pink, owned every Disney movie, and even participated in beauty pageants. My mom was going to make it impossible for me to stray away from the girl she wanted me to be. My parents placed a lot of emphasis on doing well in school, so I did just that. When I stopped wetting the bed before my brothers, I was praised. When I moved onto reading chapter books when the rest of my class was still on "See Spot Run", they bought me a Barbie. When I got an A on a story I wrote for school, I my mom painted my nails. My whole life would be like this- do something my parents want, get a reward. I didn't even become interested in writing poetry (something that has been my passion for a very long time now) until my dad asked me to write him a poem for his birthday one year.
Meanwhile, my dad wanted an athletic kid. Nic was never really interested in sports, and Sam gave up on everything after a month. Dad wanted me to be his soccer star. I played soccer for ten years, until I started high school. Quitting soccer started with my mom saying, "I wish you would try out for cheerleading."
So I did. And when I made the JV team instead of the 9th Grade team freshman year, good old Mom took me shopping. I quit soccer to focus on cheerleading for the rest of my high school career.
Academics, cheerleading, and writing are the three most important things in my life. I enjoy them, and I love excelling at them. I'm not saying that my parents forced me into anything at all. I'm grateful for their... ahem... loving "nudge" into trying things. All I am saying is that who I am is one hundred percent shaped by my parents' perceptions of me and my perception of their perception. I wanted to make them happy.

Posting Assignment #5 (due Sunday 10/23, 11:59 P.M.; comment by 11:59 Monday, 10/24: Make History

Early in our work, we listened to Gang of Four ask 'Why theory?'  They sing 'We've all got opinions.  Where do they come from?'  This project asks us to explore where opinions come from—actually our whole views of the world—by examining bits of our personal and public histories.  Where, exactly DID some of our 'opinions' come from?

Robin does his homework: Mom put this picture in my babybook on the page for 'Baby's Fourth Birthday.' Apparently I didn't have a good time because I was worried that the other kids' balloons would break and they wouldn't have a good time.  From the left: Guy Huntley, Phillip Moreland, Donny Peterson, and me (what was Mom thinking with the flowered matching outfit?).  Guy became an insurance salesman. Phillip (the goofy looking one) became a Catholic priest.  Donny's father was a coal miner, and Donny followed him into the mines.  He died there in an explosion (Consolidated Coal) at 52. And me—well, you know me.  Somehow—even at four—we all knew that Donny was a 'working class kid' (though we didn't have the words for it).  The other three of us were supposed to do better in school (and we did). It's almost a GRAND NARRATIVE of what a good boy does with his life.  But I always thought Donny was smarter than the other two.  He knew how to wire up the electric trains.  He could track animals.  He was a lot more fun.  Maybe biology matters (I still worry about whether the other kids will have a good time). But class really matters. Class determined a lot of my history, and if I were writing this blogpost, I'd take that topic, and use this baby book and picture as my 'historical archive.'

Write a tiny mini-history in which you show how particular events, people, forces, spaces, objects and so on have contributed to your 'story' of who you are.  Remember that we're suspicious of Grand Narratives, and that we know that every story will be shot through with ideology—can't not be. In fact, it' this critical look at the 'stories' that ordered our lives that can be the most interesting part of this project. Got images?  Put 'em in. Find things that mattered (songs, movies, soccer, Girl Scouts, school, 4H)? Talk about it. Is it important who you (the writer) are, too?  Talk about that.  Need models?  Well, that's tough, because all of us are so different and so are our stories.  But no stupid Yearbook-ish generalities.  No pious 'moral lessons learned.'  Think Spiegelman—right, you maybe can't draw like him, but we can all try to THINK like him….

Look hard, talk with your family and friends, share your ideas with your group.  Show us how a life took shape, and how you shape the story.

Does this one need 'theory'?  Not so much, but it really does need to do our kind of work: to show us how big historical operations play out in our very intimate lives.

Reading Muscle

This picture was put on a website advertising Body Building Supplements.

This picture shows a man eagerly watching his female workout partner measure how big his ripped arms are, while one a beach on a sunny day.

The first thing I read in this image is the way it portrays the man wanting to show off his big arms. It demonstrates how in our culture, men "want to have a lot of muscle." It shows an icon and a reference to0 other men that they too should have nice arms in order for beautiful women to admire how large they are. The image argues that men like be built, they like to have defined abs and they like to make sure their arms are up to par with what women want; They want to be labeled as, this cultures, 'hot'.
The image also argues that women, may not be into big arms- the women is not smiling- but would take the time to actually measure a how big a mans muscles are. It may be just to give the man a bit of pleasure, but the point this image makes is that women care in someway about how muscular a man is. It brings to light how men should make sure they have enough muscle to show off to women, and that women should care about muscle because the 'muscle makes the man'.

This image also presents the normalcy to heterosexuality. This image speaks not to all men, but the men that are into chicks. Even if the man in the image was gay, the distance between the bodies and his smile while the woman measures reads as Heterosexual.

This image depicts in gendered male body wanting big arms, and taking pleasure in the female body measuring just how big they are. the gender of men is shown as masculine, muscular, and heterosexual. The fact that we cannot even see the mans face makes me believe that this image argues that a "hot body" is most important in being a happy man. His face doesn't matter. What he actually looks like does not matter. the thing that matters is that he has a hot body, and he gets the hot blond to measure his arms.

My reaction as a stubborn homo is an annoyed boredom. Whereas to a Heterosexual man, the reading might cause a reaction of enlightenment- discovering that he too should be measuring how big his muscles are. This culture has seen this exact image over and over and over and over again. This image demonstrates gender roles as being the same as hundreds of years ago, with a masculine man and a submissive woman. Images like this are the reason we still are gendered into looking certain ways and wanting certain things. images like this feed the hetero normative hegemony that has been passively accepted as natural for the past centuries.

White People Can't Dance...

This is probably what Dyer had in mind when he discussed his great feeling of inferiority while dancing the "Soul Train" line in the disco with this black comrades. Eddie Murphy (excuse the language, but this is just how he does comedy).

http://youtu.be/KsyYuFv5ltc

Maximizing Power

This controversial ad was put out by Intel a few years ago. Although they claimed it was unintentional, the ad strongly suggests a division of races in a number of different ways. The only white, middle-class male centered in the ad is standing above six black employees “working” at their cubicles. The six black men are portrayed as world class athletes that are working like machines, which refers to the quote in the ad.

But when you really look at the picture, you can interpret so much more if you choose to look through a colored lens. You would be able to see the white male as a superior to the other black males bowing down around him. It even suggests slave imagery by the dominant body language of the “master” and the compliant body language of the “slaves.”

If you look even further past the color barrier you could see more inequalities that contribute to this debatable image. The employees appear to be the same, so does that mean that this is how Intel views their employees, as machines? Insignificant? Then again, if you were looking at this without the idea of color or race in mind, wouldn’t these create new arguments that have nothing to do with the black vs. white argument? You could say none of these employees have a face, so they aren’t important to the company? There isn’t one woman in the picture, so does that make this ad sexist now too?

In the world we live in it’s hard to be able to look at anything without any type of bias, but with images like these it makes it hard for people not to see the racist argument. I don’t think we can make progress in society without everybody being able to understand how important equality is across all spectrums, not just color.