I would consider myself to be a fairly unique individual, having led quite an interesting life. For starters, I was born in Ireland, but am from India, and currently reside in Duluth, Minnesota. The variety of environments I have been exposed to and different cultures I have imbibed and assimilated have contributed to a unique social perspective. I currently am a citizen of three countries—American due to immigration, Indian due to my parents, and Irish due to my birth—unfortunately I will not be able to boast of that fact for too much longer since I have been informed that I will have to choose 1 soon.
I only lived in lreland for the first two years of life, of which I have no intelligible recollection other than hazy visuals of running through a house with many windows. Nonetheless, the fact that I was born in Ireland has been the one random thing that everyone remembers about me, regardless of the duration of our acquaintance. It has also been the content of my “most interesting fact” in every one of the icebreaker or introduction sessions at school or any other event since for as long as I can remember. But the fact that I am of Indian origin and was brought up in America has introduced quite a few aberrations in my life that have again contributed to my interesting life.
My parents were born and brought up in India. They connect with and embody Indian culture—which is conservative, very family oriented, and where socioeconomic status matters above all else. Since this culture has become a part of who they are, obviously when it comes to bringing up their children, they try and convey that to them and expect them to take it as part of themselves as easily and effortlessly as the parents did. It all seems fine and dandy except when one considers the fact that the children are brought up in a totally different environment, one that comes with its own set of cultural norms. It’s like expecting a cactus to grow in a forest the same way it does in a desert? So a huge part of what contributes to me as an individual is my constant balancing act. The balancing of two different cultures—I say balancing because it seems that both cannot mix and blend into each other, perhaps over generations but as of now, if I mix and blend, it turns out to be a some sort of anomaly leading to some sort of negative conflict on either side.
Western culture is extremely open in terms of clothing, communications, relationships, choosing professions whereas Indian culture is very closed in terms of all of the above. Indians want everything planned out and fit into a rigid structure that allows little room for spontaneity and innovation. All Indian parents aspire to bring their children up to be doctors or engineers in top notch companies, marry them off in their mid twenties with people of the same Indian subculture (there are tons) as them, and have grandkids soon after. All communications between parents and kids are very respectful in terms of decisions, and kids are expected to be very obedient, usually the parent’s word is final. No talking back or arguing. For females, I think the balancing act is harder as we are imposed to more “protecting” decisions than males. So to fit into normal Western society without seeming like the odd one out or a misfit as well as abiding to my parent’s ideals of a perfect Indian daughter has been the foundation of my life—the balancing act is challenging at times, fun others( it’s almost like you are two different people), and very interesting at times, always making for great stories to share with the respective cultural counterparts.
I loved this post! I think it's such an interesting, difficult, but amazingly rewarding circumstance to have such deep connections with 2 cultures. It is such a common thing to be a 'white' American and assume that anyone from a different culture 'is not from here', whether or not most people admit it, you immediately want to ask, where are you from? What is your heritage? Mostly out of sincere interest, but often because of what is defined as American. It is preached as the land of diversity. Where original immigrants were often of European decent, it seems it is no longer necessary to ask where are you from of those of assumed to be of European decent. Just as the definition of American changed throughout its' past, I would like to think there will be a day when everyone is assumed to be American because they are here, no bias of features. The tricky part is just as you were saying. It is a matter of balance to keep your heritage alive as an incredible and irreplaceable part of your life, as well as the country you grew up in. I grew up next to a family who maintained their Lebanese heritage/culture and Muslim religion while growing up in Detroit public schools. What they did to keep this balance demanded so much respect and learned-behavior that they made appear so simple, though I know it was and is trying, as I'm sure it is for you at times, too. Great post!
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